“Religion Is A Parasite,” Says Guy Living In Mom’s Basement.

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Image source: Babylon Bee

WEST LINN, OR—Local unemployed 28-year-old man Blake Wendler, who has lived in a makeshift room in his mother’s basement for the past ten years, recently logged on to her living room PC to visit a popular online forum for skeptics.

On the online forum he posted a long-winded rant accusing religion of being a “bloodsucking parasite dragging down society.” Wendler tried to hit the point home that what society needs is a giant dose of reason,

“Religion is a destructive leech that feeds on others’ resource,” wrote Wendler, the man who has lived off his religious mother’s good will for the entirety of his life. “If we can only show people the evils of all those freeloading religious institutions, our society can be free to truly flourish and progress.”

On the forum Wendler claimed to be a die hard fan of philosopher Boghossian’s work which has proven that certain parasites, namely Taenia Solium, live in the brains of religious people, a conclusion Boghossian came to through a sophisticated vetting process funded by atheist organizations to prove the conclusion he wanted to come to. Wendler says that this is a strong proof for the irrational behaviour of the religious, “A strong case has been made by a philosopher named Boghossian that religious people are irrational due to parasitic infection. Empirical evidence supports this fact.”

Wendler therefore believes that he is quite right theorizing that religion is a bloodsucking parasite not only in its dragging down of society but also in the literal biological sense. All the more reason to combat religious superstition so prevalent in society.

He further illuminates the moral atrocities committed by the religious, “Can you believe that religious organizations don’t pay any tax, while we common people struggle to pay Uncle Sam each year? It is not fair that we non-religious are treated like second class citizens in this country!”

At publishing time, Wendler had called religion “the opiate of the masses” before firing up a massive bong in his mom’s car.

This article was sourced from the Babylon Bee on top of which I sprinkled some of my own creativity.


8 responses to ““Religion Is A Parasite,” Says Guy Living In Mom’s Basement.

  1. He raises a good point about taxes, but you will find religion and say education are tied up with each other more than many realize. Where does the state stop and the rights of the individual start is another difficult question to answer. Religion is tied up with identity far more than we realize. How many would tick the box ‘I want my taxes to be spent ( In the UK ) on building the replacement for Trident Nuclear Missiles.’

    James, I would love to hear your thoughts on what ‘forgiveness’ means to people in 2018. Briefly looking at definitions, the Greek translation is ‘to let go.’ To let go to me means to write something off. Those who are quick to take offence according to (one source in) the bible are fools. What is the relationship between tolerance and forgiveness if there is one. I myself think though showing tolerance is a virtue, forgiveness to me is something that should never really need to be considered, because if after all efforts offence is still caused, the damage is already done and cannot therefore be undone, but may loose it’s initial or early effect with time.

  2. Regardless of where someone lives, a lot of mega church pastors live the lives of fat ticks. And I don’t see the Catholic Church selling its vast holdings and giving it to the poor either.

  3. I’ve very much enjoyed reading your insight into the topic of theology and apologetics. I getting worried though that your website rather than giving thoughtful insights and responses to viewpoints is just turning to just making fun of the other viewpoints without the insights I’ve appreciated reading so much.

    • Thank you, Shon. I do try to give thoughtful insights as much as possible. Every now and again, however, I like to play around in not such a serious manner, though the topics might be considered serious by many.

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