Satan Sprinkles A Few More Stegosaurus Bones Across Nation To Test Christians’ Faith

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UTAH—The dark demon of hell Satan “lightly seasoned” the Western United States with “a dash” of stegosaurus fossils over the weekend in order to further test Christians’ faith, sources confirmed Monday.

According to evil beings close to Lucifer, the fallen angel has taken up adding more and more dinosaur bones to the nation’s dig sites as a side hobby to pass the time until his inevitable demise. Satan claims that he enjoys watching Christians “freak out” trying to reconcile the presence of dinosaur bones with their interpretations of the book of Genesis.

“We must stand firm against the devil’s wiles,” Christian fundamentalist pastor Steve Wilson said Monday after the fossils were uncovered by archaeologists. “This is clearly an attempt by the Great Deceiver to make Christians trust in science rather than in God.”

At publishing time, Satan had dropped a full Tyrannosaurus Rex fossil into the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles “to knock as many believers as possible off the narrow path that leads to life.”

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2 responses to “Satan Sprinkles A Few More Stegosaurus Bones Across Nation To Test Christians’ Faith

  1. Unfortunately, many Christians are shaken and confused by ‘scientific’ claims regarding the ages of fossils despite growing evidence that they are actually not millions of years old! For example, repeated discoveries of flexible ligaments and blood vessels by Mary Schweitzer and others, and the recent ‘dinosaur mummy’ described “with skin and guts intact”. There are issues with radiometric dating methods (they all rely on assumptions re starting mixtures etc.). Uniformitarian geology (required for believing in millions of years) doesn’t stack up very well either. Accepting the Biblical account of a supernatural creation and a real global flood as one’s starting assumptions, the science actually makes a lot of sense!

  2. It is obvious from the text that Lucifer was Babylon and its power in the Nations, the prophet Isaiah writing of Babylon’s fall to Persia. Nebuchadnezzar once the opponent [meaning satan] of Judah has fallen from his high position among the Nations [heaven meaning a high place]. Satan refers to real people or nations, and also is used of YHWH who was an opponent.

    I do not believe there is any conflict with the ages of geology and the Eternal God who created heaven and Earth in the beginning.

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